Rock it, app! Of course, LDW Callers and Mistresses know the above to be true. And may I say that . . . → Read More: Cuckolds and Sissies and Slaves, Oh My!]]>

Ohhh you sissies are really going to love this one. Today, the iPhone app Sex Facts says “Gender identity is the gender one feels himself or herself to be, whether physiologically make or female.”

Rock it, app! Of course, LDW Callers and Mistresses know the above to be true. And may I say that today I am feeling very manly, so just call me Pete, thank you ~giggle (kidding!). Do you notice how this sex fact does not mention two genders, which I appreciate because I always thought there should be a third, and perhaps even a fourth. Female, male, sissy, cuckold … those four cover things pretty well. At least for the interim. In time, a sissy may very well become of the female gender, whether or not she has the surgery (but most definitely if she does). And of course a cuckold may start out as male, but then he becomes something other … not quite male, not at all female, not sissy, although there are exceptions to this, namely the sissy cuckold. But usually, he is simply cuckold.

Could “slave” be a gender, as well? Sometimes folks are surprised to hear I have slaves. A sweet sensuous gal like me? Well yeah, and they do in fact live in cages in the basement. Well two of them do, when they are lucky enough to be here. The cages are large, don’t worry, and I keep fresh water bowls in them. But yes my two slaves are quite dear to me and tend to my home on a regular basis, as sissy J cannot do everything. Some of you know how I found my slaves, or how they found me (hint: NOT via phone sex, I never ever meet callers nor will I ever). If you would like to know more, just ask during our next session, I’m happy to share!

(To obtain the iPhone app mentioned above, see the Apple iPhone app store.)

Kisses,
Empress Melanie xo

For a phone sex session with Empress Melanie, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Here we go: “The main destinations for female sex tourists are Italy, Greece, Croatia, Turkey, Slovenia and Spain.”

Uh, what?

First, what the hell is a female sex tourist? Is . . . → Read More: Flying Female Seeks a Good Fucking]]>

So today’s iPhone Sex Fact really has me confused. I do not understand what the heck it means, and perhaps you can enlighten me.

Here we go: “The main destinations for female sex tourists are Italy, Greece, Croatia, Turkey, Slovenia and Spain.”

Uh, what?

First, what the hell is a female sex tourist? Is that a woman who flies around the world looking for sex? Since when has there ever been any woman who needs to go farther than 10 feet from her home to find as much sex as she could possibly want? Since never, that’s when. You cum loving strokers and sissies are always willing to accommodate a tented vagina in need. So what is this female sex tourist they speak of? Could they mean a tourist of the female sex? They could have just said “female tourist,” then. And what is this about Croatia and Turkey and Slovenia? The other countries I can kind of understand being sexy … but these???

*Shakes head* I have to say that, unless one of you can show me the errors in my understanding, or misunderstanding, of this one, it gets a great big thumbs down.

Onto more interesting things, then! We are one-third of the way through December. Are you partaking in this month’s caller rewards special?  November’s audio was HOT HOT HOT (if you qualified for rewards in November and have not emailed me for your audio, please do so ASAP!). And as those of you who have the pleasure of calling me know, I only get wilder as the temperature drops. So come on, lovelies, it’s time for some phone sex! You deserve it!

Till next time … aka tomorrow

(To obtain the iPhone app mentioned above, see the Apple iPhone app store.)

Kisses,
Empress Melanie xo

For a phone sex session with Empress Melanie, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com

(To obtain the iPhone app mentioned above, see the Apple iPhone app store.)

One or two of you wonderful callers come to . . . → Read More: Go Suck a Cock. Your Own, That Is!]]>

Oh I love today’s iPhone sex fact: “A few extremely flexible males can reach and stimulate their penis with their tongue or lips, and so perform autofellatio.” YES, it really says this!

(To obtain the iPhone app mentioned above, see the Apple iPhone app store.)

One or two of you wonderful callers come to mind, with this sex fact. The first time I heard about this I was stunned. A man who can blow his own cock! And if he can do this, what use would he have for anyone else? Wouldn’t they just get in the way?

But lo and behold, you cock stroking men are full of surprises (I’m sure you’ve heard this before, most likely from your women). I’ve spoken with not just one, but TWO of you so far who can lick your own cocks. Yet you still call your Mistresses for phone sex. Which again proves my assertion that we are absolutely indispensable to the happiness and well being of you fetish and humiliation addicts!

SO when you throw those legs up over your head and push your cock into your mouth you make my day. You really do ~giggle~.

Oh and just a quick note about your IMs before I close today’s post. As you know, my Yahoo and MSN IM address is EmpressMelanie. Well here is the thing. I have IMs open on my computer all the time when I’m here for your calls. However, and this is very important, I am not at my computer throughout that time. Because I’m often logged in for your calls 10 or more hours at a time, if I was sitting in front of the computer for those 10+ hours can you imagine what that would do to my fine ass?! Not to mention my perky tits and toned legs. You would not want that for your Mistress, would you?!?! Nooooooo. So please do not worry or get offended if I don’t reply to your IM right away. I will see it, but maybe not for a while. You can always email me instead (empressmelanie@yahoo.com) and, in fact, reach me faster that way, as I will see your email pretty quickly on my phone. Or, of course, if you simply cannot wait another moment to reach your Princess, call me!

Okay, time to hit the gym. Thank you, as always, for reading and for being so great. Kisses to you, my sweeties.

xoxo Empress Melanie

For a phone sex session with Empress Melanie, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com