Yes you read that title right. Lovely caller B (for briskit) showed me his new trick yesterday on his cam. He fucked that piece of meat so hard! And then, he made au jus with it *giggle* … YUM! He said he did it so I’d “finally blog about him” hehe here you go, sexy I truly enjoyed our call and look forward to seeing what else is up your sleeve (or laying about in your garage). I’m determined to get you to try some Marshmallow Fluff, too. Apparently it feels better than even the wettest clitty.

In other news (updated), just a quick post to let you know that as my schedule for this week shows, I am *not* here this Wednesday during the day. I’m taking a writing class at a nearby university to brush up my skills for a current novel. But, in a recent change, I *will* be here Thursday and Friday day!

Also, and this is a biggie. In a prior post I wrote about how sissy J was kind of pulling away from the “sissy” part of his J. Well, turns out there’s a reason he is feeling less feminine these days. Last weekend he took your Princess out to a lovely dinner and … and … guess it … he proposed! Could have blown me over with a feather, I was so shocked. He presented me with a beautiful diamond ring, too. He chose the classic Tiffany Setting, which I love. As you may know from our calls, I never considered myself the marrying kind but, ya know, J holds a very special place in my heart and has for, oh, about four years now. And get this – we’re planning a quick trip to our local justice of the peace this weekend to make it official (I’m not one for big hoo ha’s). Then our families are planning to throw a surprise party for us sometime before summer, they won’t tell us when. So, yep, your Princess is officially and permanently off the market, in a whirlwind, and surprisingly happy about it! And yes, you will still be the same wonderful part of my life that you are now. I’m not going anywhere!

That’s my news, and if you’re still in your chair and not passed out from shock go look in your freezer to see what meat you might liberate for a future phone sex call with me. As mentioned above, this method has been tested and proven successful by our lovely B. Just make sure it’s fully defrosted, first.

Kisses,
Empress Melanie

For a phone sex session with Empress Melanie, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Hello, sweet strokers! I missed a few hours of play with you last night because I went to see the movie Paranormal Activity. Oh my freaking kink, it was frightening … your Princess slept with the lights on last night. But to make up to you the time I missed for play, I am offering a special for TODAY ONLY -

For today, Thursday, October 15, if you spend 30 or more minutes with me in a phone sex or sexy texting session, I will send you my naughty audio for this month! Your session must take place TODAY and it must begin before midnight eastern time in order for you to receive this very naughty audio. I plan to be here much of the day, with a few hours off to go for a sightseeing drive around my beautiful town, which I love to do. So come get me as soon as you see my indicator at the right say “Available.” If it says “On the Phone,” call dispatch right away and reserve your slot for next in line!

In other news, I am so very proud of a certain adorable stroker … let’s call him H … who followed my Marshmallow Fluff suggestion and is now a fan of the soft and sweet marshmallow pussy! He went right out and purchased some and has used it several times since, including on our recent call. The moans and sighs that emanated from his naughtiness … ohhhh, I get so wet just thinking about it. Kisses to you, H!

I’m here by my phone, in my little babydoll and flexing my newly pedicured feet, just waiting to deliciously torment you …

Kisses, soooo much better than a ball and chain girlfriend!
Melanie xo

Hello, sweet strokers and sissies! Due to your overwhelming response to my recent marshmallow treat post, I’ve decided to offer more information on great sex toys and tools you can find at your local supermarket. Because I understand too well how difficult it can be for you to travel to a sex toy store, or keep those naughty items in your home, with prying eyes and all. So now, all you have to do is reach into your kitchen pantry to find that perfect accoutrement to your next phone sex session!

For this post, I’d like to highlight the snack food hot pockets.

You may have some in your freezer right now. These little gems are easily transformed from snack food into soft pussy extraordinaire. Never better than a femdom Mistress, of course, but a great addition to any conversation with one. Do I really need to tell you how to use it? Didn’t think so … and do I really need to remind you to let it cool? But I will say this – for the best comfort, be sure to cut your (cooled!) hot pocket according to your size.

Sissy J won’t use these no matter how much I try to coerce and bribe him. He does, however, use the Fluff, and loves it! And I love testing all these foods and containers out on him, so for past and future posts on this topic we all have my sweet skirted squeeze to thank. As he shakes his ass in front of me.

Kisses,
Sex Food Evaluator Melanie xoxo